Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
