i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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