jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
God, I missed his penis.
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