I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
honey bunches of taint.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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