apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
