Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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