I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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