My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize