so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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