You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
