the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
