girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
