i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
