Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He passed out mid-signature
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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