Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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