I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
