of course. lets lasso hookers.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
