so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
