It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
