i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
They have beer where we have blood.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
