yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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