it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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