you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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