Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
