yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
