A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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