Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
