If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
