Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
A bitchslap is in order.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize