i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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