We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
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I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
FUCK WHALES
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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