My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
