I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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