As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Are we still banned from the library?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
