Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
