last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
