i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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