If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
