You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
