well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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