The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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