I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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