her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
