The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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