Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
