His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
