A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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