they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize