Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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