Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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