at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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