the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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