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Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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