my mouth tastes like poor choices
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
