dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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