Don't you send me to vm
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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