Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
