I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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