What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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