People with herpes should wear stickers.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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