I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i think my cat just said my name.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
