I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
