why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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