There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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