Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
