I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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