As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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