Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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