he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
