I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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