What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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